'Ff'lo (fflo) wrote,

the darkest day of the year on the darkest day of the year

sure was dark friday.  got a lot lighter by the next morning.  even a little bit in the wee hours of the night, with sudden clarity, staring at the screen, and then a little TLC from a bud.  not weed.  it wasn't that kind of bud.  but i tell you, a mere few hours earlier i was in pretty bad shape.

i've had some good company this weekend, along with some good solitude.  did just have a fight, sort of, but i think that's gonna be okay.  coulda been a lot worse.  it's left me a bit shaken, but that sort of thing usually does, particularly when resolution is delayed.  it was right here, though, with my magical corner window lights, and i sorta wish that weren't the case.

so i guess it's christmas eve day now.  moreover, two days ago the sun started edging its overall way back up in this direction.  i have to thank the wisdom of the writer of my subject line tonight, in her kindness to me yesterday morning, for putting me in the mindset of the solstice and its promise, its hope.  there are months of cold and the bitterest part of the winter still to be gotten through, yet at least we know we're just lagging behind that way.  we can witness the days getting longer, even as the freeze sets in.  the atmosphere---and our lived experience in it---just takes a little while sometimes to catch up with what's really going on.

gotta get me under the covers now.  shivering, and i don't so much like shivering any more.

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