Dear Miss Manners,
I have developed an unfortunate mannerism in the last few months.
Whenever I hear the name Bush, I automatically intone 'bastardfuck' in
much the same way a believer would finger their rosary and mutter
Is anyone else exhibiting these kinds of on-going symptoms?
I am not usually too much of a guttermouth, and I'm getting to be an
old broad to boot.
So what's to be done, Miss Manners?
Please don't answer.... "duct tape" !
Dear Gentle Reader,
While Miss Manners cannot condone the unrestrained and
unfettered use of common street epithets, and would carefully
intersperse the word in question with other words so as not
to be mistaken for an untreated Tourette's Syndrome patient,
in the case of such bastardfucks as Mr. Bush, can there be
any other recourse? Certainly when a bastardfuck can be
described best and mostly accurately as a bastardfuck, any
challenge to the English language for more daintyspeak can
only be considered mistakenly moralistic. Miss Manners, while
wholly in favor of elegant euphemisms where appropriate,
does still reserve the right to implement truthful language
where no euphemisms can be found truthful, as in the case
of said bastardfuck. Perhaps you might try a complementary
word arrangement, such as Bastardfuck in Chief, should
this appeal to your sensitivities of rank.
Other than that, Miss Manners would appeal to your tone of
voice and bearing, being that delivery is as important as
vocabulary. An honestly, sincerely rueful annunciation of
"bastardfuck" lends itself more to a sympathetic reception
among more prudish-minded listeners, and may even give moment
of pause to contemplate pity as opposed to aggression in the
intonation of "bastardfuck." Miss Manners truly believes that
aggression delivered even in deserved critique simply contributes
to the bastardfuckerdly mindset that sullies the collective social river,
and therefore it is of utmost importance to mind the quality of
emotions that accompany the proper utterance of bastardfuck.
So long as conscience and compassionate circumspection
accompany truth, there can be no wrong word.