It was "All My Children," which I think was the one that broke a lesbian storyline some years back.
The next scene involved Lujack, who isn't Lujack any more. He's a doctor. He was Lujack on "The Guiding Light" the summer after I got out of college, when my father'd just died, and wasn't sure where I was going next, or where Denise and I would be moving to live in sin later that year. I was hanging around home, keeping my mother company, and Elana Jane hung with me a lot. I had become a fan of "The Flintstones" by then, and was catching up on those, though I'd not appreciated that program as a kid. I think Elana watched some Flintstones with me. Some MTV was probably in the mix too. And she re-introduced me to the soap, which my grandmother'd watched---she and my mother were both "As The World Turns"ers at one time, and it sometimes bled over into the "Light," which followed. My mom had been an "Edge of Night"ite too, before that.
It was a strange time for "The Guiding Light," EJ pointed out. Lujack was kinda like a street thug hero. Maybe a little throwback-y, in his leather, à la West Side Story. She thought maybe I could get into the show cuzza/through this guy, and she was right. Of course her enthusiasm was contagious.
Catching enthusiasms like contagions has its benefits. If you like to feel enthusiastic, that is, it does. Yeah, it reflects, or may reflect, a problematic aspect of personality in some ways too. But whether you can feel your own joy or not, it's nice sometimes to feel another's. For me it can be easier, or (a weird word for it I know but here it comes) more pure.
Lujack blew up. That's how he died. Some strange boat-related intrigue. People in soap operas sometimes aren't dead when they're dead, but he was all dead.
It was a bit weird seeing the fake-o baby dykes sorta getting it on, soap-opera style, on the soap opera this week. But I admit it felt nice to think they're getting that in before the genre dies off completely. Marriage and the military and soap operas are places for a version of queer liberation. They just weren't anywhere near the top of my wishlist.