I didn't see the play in New York. Saw Megamind 3D instead, though I'd set out to see a movie you can't see just anywhere, but then Megamind's timing and location were better. I'd kinda forgotten about the disappointment of the play until today, figuring out (with a little assistance) that I actually felt hurt by parts of how that went down. That that's what that sinking sensation was, that weighing down. What is it about admitting you're hurt? To yourself, even? Was it one of the podcasts I listened to in which mention was made of a big guy falling down and declaring practically before hitting the ground that he was fine?
Of course I want to go right to what I did wrong, and the flaw-like crazy ways I got before the trip, feeling this push-pull about whether to go, the stakes feeling high, somehow, and not just from the monetary perspective. After the back-and-forth I put myself through, and getting the thing arranged for such as I had, it was true (as Steve said) that I didn't have to come, but not to go then would have meant its own disappointments, and the solitary holiday week, with special contrast sauce. And I'm glad to have connected with O & her life again, in person, for sure.
Somehow I come away thinking I want to be the combo of kind and direct that I want to exist in the world.
That's a play on the much-quoted Ghandi line, if you're wondering why that particular sentence seems forced. Why you'd wonder about that particular sentence, I dunno.
I'm hungry. I washed some windows this afternoon. Clean windows rule. Haven't done all the outsides, or any of the insides, nor put in any of the storms yet, but I'm on the way. Such indictment I bore while doing what I did, and at deciding to stop for the day. I'm nuts.
Talked to vjsmom, for a long time on the trip, and again today, at some length. Had to pause to think of her lj name. Seems a shame to me, the dying down of the personal blogging, among persons of my acquaintance, and in general. Boundaries and the internets: in flux, and perhaps rarely perceived by me in savvy fashion.
Back to work tomorrow, presuming they've fixed the heat. Then on to the business of the next hunks of business. So much easier, the TCB, when joy is sprinkled in. I keep misplacing my joy shaker. Like, it'd be a shaker if it's like a salt shaker, for sprinkling. In case you were wondering why that particular sentence seems forced.
Here's the movie I was on my way to when I switched to the one I could see anywhere:
That reminds me of telling O & M about it (the movie I didn't see), which reminds me of the Korean place we ate at, Kang Suh. The website has a bunch of tidy peopleless still photos, but the place itself was hoppin', and that was part of the sense of event of barbequing squid & veggies at our little table in the back upstairs, with its built-in grill:
That was pretty cool, that bustling place.
It's a block from Macy's, which we went into afterwards, the night before the big parade. I'd stopped in there before meeting them & bought gloves. Didn't know the store windows have mechanically operated displays for the holidays 'til we paused on the sidewalk for that. O bought a new pillow. We didn't go check out Denise's old haunt (children's shoes), but we all marveled at the old escalators, on the upper floors. I'll leave you with that, once it uploads to YouTube:
Plenty of escalator video action in related videos. :)