i am not content being miserable. i think this is a true statement. i am touching base with it in my mind, off and on, since i heard the idea of the opposite mentioned tonight. as a concept, not particularly about me.
road trip coming up. the forces of planning and control vs. spontaneity and chance battle it out in me. there's gonna be some of the former, just cuz there's gonna. there's almost gotta. somehow i keep getting the itch to go whole-hog with it though. an instinct tells me it's bogus, but the pull is strong.
one thing i'm considering is coming back the way i went. this'd be a first, for sure. i had a loop through the mountains in colorado in mind as my nod toward not just going there and back. but it can be so slow, a few hundred miles under those circumstances. and it'd be adding some extra hundreds of miles. that's $$.
oh for the days i could pretend the $$ didn't matter so much.
oh for the days i was unaware of my self-sabotage.
well, not oh for either, really. not oh for them. oh for some ahead more free of fretting. oh for relax & enjoy.
