but i'm here at the desk, knowing i'm not gonna set up my new machine until i've done a thorough clean of at least this corner of the room, and i really don't want to clean this corner of the room. dust and cat hair and the part of the clutter i haven't yet rounded up. crawling around on the floor---no way around it. it's after dark! the television calls. i'm in no space to start something new.
hey, might as well get the anticlimax over in advance.
i recognize and acknowledge my bad attitude. i recognize and acknowledge my desire to do some serious drugs. i try to call forth a boost from the recollection of the phone call this evening from my young friend who was happy to be on his way home from the psych ward. he has a couple of outpatient day visits lined up & then they'll see what's what. he might be back in school as early as monday.
as per usual, midweek before weekend guests, this place is so not ready for company. and the clock is ticking on this year's garlic mustard. the 24-hour clock of the overwhelming.
maybe i'll just do the "Lost" season ender and one or two half-hour nuthins, and then go to bed with the end of that mystery novel, whereupon CPAP will take over & i'll still not be done with it.