I didn't sit at the computer once while I was out sick, for some reason. That choice did fit with my feeling out of touch with everything, with the world. I'm pretty out of touch.
I'm guessing that the tailing off of caffeine consumption that went along with my stomach flu experience might have been responsible for my having such a long, vivid dream last night, during the regular night, that I remembered lusciously well when I awoke, gently, before 7. It was the kind of dreaming I usually recall only after a sleeping-in kind of back-to-sleep lazy lollygag extension of the night well into the day. Such a doozy, too, this one, this series of scenes. Lots of sex. The presence of dear departed ones. Surreal walking through representations of the past projected into a now. It was in color, too. It left me in a state of such receptiveness to its wisdom that I even understoood---as if by osmosis, it was so relaxed---what could be made of the TV, just submerged below the surface in the Chesapeake Bay, next to the goofy fish, and playing, as someone I loved and I rode by, a flashback to a Nixon-era talking head referring to his colleague Mr. Brinkley, who was also currently starring in [some silly-sounding drama whose name I didn't really catch, but chuckled at, even in the dream].
Lots of water, bridges, swimming, the urge to submerge, city streets, alleys and water and gutters and ditching the evidence, bars, water, women, sex, water, swimming, another woman, sex, windows, radical architectural renovation, a woman on the phone, the old basement grocery that's now a buffet, a woman on the street, another woman with her, stairs, the cobbler's, evidence of burning, ladders. How we're gonna fuck next, why this position is untenable for much longer, that's funny yet not diverting us from the action, wish people would stop watching us, how do I close these curtains, you've swum up to me by these big rocks and I'm moving this piece of your wet curly hair off to the side of your forehead with one finger and in this close-up right here in front of my face you are every bit as beautiful as I ever saw you be.
There was loss through and through, and no balance, too, and neither hurt.
It's enough to make a girl want to give up the caffeine for real, for just a shot at a little more such magical sumptuousness.