'Ff'lo (fflo) wrote,
'Ff'lo
fflo

Moon's full.

This hasn't been my favorite waxing, I'm pretty sure, despite the happy turn in national politics. Here's to a pleasing wane? I dunno. I can't see that far ahead right now.

A waxing's about a fortnight, ain't it. A waning the same.

Tonight the moon is full, and I feel empty. My heart feels empty. My head is damn near a vacuum, too. And I'm sober. Of course maybe that's the problem. It can be sobering, sobriety.

Even the word sounds hollow. So-ber. Big long-o so, oh, lazy "so?"--- plus brrr. Burr. Thoroughly no fun. One syllable barely accented over the other. Sober.

I talk as if it's a big thing for me tonight. It isn't. It's just a thing.

I guess I don't have anything to say. I have cable TV. What is there to say.

I kind of hate the gods. Don't tell them. No, they don't know---when they're plural they're not omniscient. That's not strictly by-Edith-Hamilton, but I say it's true. Admit it, it feels true. Gods busy planning how to lie to the wife about the raping, and thinking they're sure punishing disobedience by making you a pillar of salt, and falling in love with their reflections or cursing somebody to do that, I forget, is Narcissus a god or just some dude? Oh, Edith. You'd be scowling at me from the back of the paperback, wouldn't you. Could I take you to bed, Edith? I know you were one of ours. You just looked a little beyond giving a go at opening up to me, that's all. I might be wrong. But my point is, your many gods are so deliriously human they clearly don't know shit, any more than we do, any more than I do. So they don't already know how much I hate them, if you don't tell.

Come here, Edith. Kiss me. How else will I know whether I'm beyond it myself.
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