'Ff'lo (fflo) wrote,
'Ff'lo
fflo

a day off

off work & just off. an off day.

had so much i'd aimed to accomplish at home, but got precious little done. partly, i reckon, cuz feeling a bit under the weather. haven't gotten much sleep this weekend, and seem to've lost the gene for sleeping in all morning to make up for it. (old age?) limited CPAP usage hasn't helped, either, i'm sure.

but it's sunday night and i'm still in the running in the NCAA bracket and the film festival's this coming week, and the kind of blah day that could really get me down not so very long ago doesn't have, at least today, much overall oomph.

watched Ballots or Bullets this a.m. WB, 1936, Edward G & Bogie. watched Spellbound (the Hitchcock) (first time in prob'bly 20 years) last night at O's, bookending another good Geddes Mansion meal (f & b out of town, so a nice little subset of the residents, and e seemed in high spirits, playing beatles tunes from '65 & '66). and then the night before, friday night, was great fun---Gilberto Gil (ahh) and afterpartying (oooh): oh, yeah. good news, indeed. very good news.

i can agree with the preacher in Ecclesiastes that there's nothing new under the sun, but it can sure feel that way. i assert that 'tude and mood call us to the things of this world, along with what we all (and Wilbur) know does. i guess today i was called not to engage a whole lot with the things of this world, but that's fine too. the cats are fed & seem content, and the trash is out, and even if it weren't, so what. i haven't done the bills but i don't think any of them will be late. might be wrong, but good credit has its disadvantages, too. can get you more mortgage than you should have, right? ha ha ha.

don't say i'm boring cuz i'm happy. i was boring many times when i was unhappy. and probably every bit as insipid. this kind of stuff trips my insipid alarms more, though. i'm much more uncomfortable aesthetically with the kind of blather i blather when i'm not miserable. what does that say about my training? ugh. fortunately (for me, if not for you, dear reader), that doesn't bother me either.

i even busted my car up a little the other day, and it doesn't upset me. barely got to me at all, even when it happened, and doesn't worry me now, though i carry in me full ken of ways it could worry me, woulda worried me, while lollygagging around about getting it dealt with. more than once i've given it some room to worry me, when i remember about it, but nuthin'.

this morning laying in bed looking out at the branches i pondered the season change in progress, and almost seemed to be trying to worry about all the stuff i'll have to do outside again once the weather gets good, and how i can possibly do all that and all the other stuff i want and need to do, and how it could be overwhelming & make me hate myself---lines of thought that did such a number on me not so long ago. but it wasn't sticking. it wouldn't take. it got no traction, and then it just gave up.

it's almost like i have a disease. an ease disease. an ease? an undisorder? something not rotten in the state of lisa.

still no progress on the bottling of it, though. stay tuned.
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