January 28th, 2020

edsel behind chain link

Bow Tie Tuesday

It's been a long day.  As it ended, I had to do some re-centering, and digesting a whole buncha onion rings outta the freezer, and fighting off the irrational notion that I jinx myself by feeling my oats.  I don't believe that, really, with all of me, no matter how true it feels.  That kind of feeling is mistaken.

Haven't jumped on for any campaign duty yet, and I will in a minute, but I remembered I wanted to post this BTT post I left in the drafts.

Today's tie is one of the several I got super-cheap at ties.com at the end of the year.  Like, 2 bucks each.

I had it on loosely, but it didn't last the day that way.  Here's a self-portrait, also including the tie, that I'm calling Collapse )

I like all the various things I see in my face there.

This afternoon on the way back to work I went for a self-treat decaf latte, and I decided to stop in the Warby Parker store nearby, just to see what they had.  The gender-bendy Madeleine gave me a quick lay of the land, and I tried on a few pair.  In a wildly uncharacteristic move, I just went ahead and bought a pair of frames I like. Within, like, less than 10 minutes.  :)  This shall be my cue to go to the eye doc's.

In the back of the store they have pencils with things written on them for sale as a fundraiser for a local literacy/writing-tutory group.  Reading them, while Madeleine retrieved my frames (and put them in a nice cloth bag), I laughed out loud heartily and hardily, and several times.  I bought a pair of MAKESHIFT DRUMSTICKs (cuz you gotta have 2), and didn't realize until back here that (on top of "makeshift" being a word I love) those are both compound words.  So it's like 2 double-chocolate donuts, or 4 chocolates, look do you want these or what.

My favorite pencil, though, was the sexy flirt line one:  WHAT VARIED SYNTAX YOU HAVE.  Omg, amirite?  Totes.  I bought the last 2 they had of that one.

I wanted---and still want---to send the 2nd one to the 1st one it made me think of.   But I shouldn't.  So I won't.  Right?  A.: Probably.

One of the many realizations/comprehensions/noticings I experienced while (finally stopping dragging my feet and facing up to) prepping my open talk was Collapse )

Probably gotta get on some campaign stuff now to keep up with my goal for the week.

I also want to write back to Emiene, with whom I had a nice unexpected flurry of texting today.  I was telling her how I admire her way of knowing where/when to draw the line with somebody (like she just reported doing in a situation when she was catching whiffs of emotional manipulation).  She seems so matter-of-fact about it, the walking away, in a way I so am not.  She wrote back that I've always seemed clear on what I want (gotta think about that).  Then she added: "Your trouble was that big ol heart."

I heard that.  And, tho it's maybe not a great thing for me, it felt nice.  If a little hopeless-case.  I mean, you could be remembered for worse things.  I've also liked being called, by one who knows me well, "sweet-natured".  And I do hope that's true, at least sometimes.  Can I be a strong, kick-ass centered powerful confident force to reckon, while stalwartly taking care of myself, who is also sweet-natured and grappling with a big ol' heart?  A.: I dunno, but it sounds like something to aim for.  Focus on the stalwart kick-ass, though.  For now.  For a while, at least.