April 9th, 2019
I was in a hurry this morning, plus it's Spring, so I didn't break out my last new bow tie today, which isn't exactly Springy and would've required tying. Instead we have an appearance of one of my femme alternatives (disclaimer white does not equal purity).
Lately I've been feeling pretty good, even when engaged in challenging self-care stuff. "Maybe I'm manic?" crosses my mind now and then, but I don't seem to be worried about it. I like very much not feeling so much need, so much obligation, to consider things and consequences and possibilities with thoroughness.
The other day this guy I know was talking about how he coaches himself to consider stepping back from some risky (possibly foolhardy) thing he feels compelled to. It just made me think how I fight the opposite impulse--- the one to check whether more caution is a good idea.
I come by it honestly (a phrase/notion I'm increasingly fond of, in its gentleness and acceptance), and it's been reinforced by experience. But I'm in charge, and I can overrule it if I want, and not necessarily only by throwing it to the wind, plowing blindly ahead, ignoring red flags cuz of love.
This evening I took the legs off the base of the piece of furniture I'm slowly putting together. Then I put them back, but on the correct side of the board this time. :D