November 9th, 2016

night ice

So.

I don't have a perfect postcard for today, or even a good one, I reckon.  So I'm just posting a post (this post) to post some flavor of the stunned sleepless sunken-face day I'm about to enter the evening part of and leave the office from.  I got here late, but not as late as I'd planned to.  And I met someone for a comfort burger late lunch before walking the dog.  That was good.  She is more upset at the not-Hillary not-the-woman not-the-shattered-ceiling, %age-of-upsetness-wise, I think, than am I.  And she had crying jags overnight last night to the extent that sometimes she couldn't breathe.  I haven't had any of that.  I've mostly felt compelled to reach out to people I know (thus got on facebook as much as twitter in processing what was happening), and while doing that noticed that the things that have felt wrong between me and others I (have) love(d) didn't feel so big somehow.  There was also a tailing in on what my therapist & I were talking about before this happened, as I was telling Tracy today, about justice and when there is none and having a problem of not quite knowing how to deal with that.  And now this.  By which I mean Trump, if you can't tell.  Yesterday being Election Day.

paperkingdoms posted something about hope--- something that was refreshingly not simple & rosy & aw-shucks-cheer-up, cuz seriously fuck that.  That was good.  It feels a little like my relationship to the world has shifted, suddenly.  What's the name for when the surface of the earth cracks and shifts in a quake?  Tectonic jerkery?  That reminds me how I watched a little TV doc thing the other day about sinkholes.

Okay I guess that'll do.  I'll post a postcard next.  Then go home and maybe sleep this night.

Hello, person reading this.  Extra-heartfelt hello if you too are sleepy and/or sad and/or majorly bummed and stunned with it.