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April 28th, 2009

mulch

i was sad. i bought mulch.

i spread mulch and was sad.

i made pretty things and sat looking at them, bawling inside.

from the outside you'd maybe think i was spacing out while composing a grocery list.

but what do i know of from the outside. sheer speculation. tree falls in a forest. in space no one can hear you Clash.

tonight the new browser nonfunctionality: not even being able to sign in to facebook, drown myself in mafia wars. 'd be nice to think that's a divine gift, but that's an even dumber kind of speculation. and rob brzsnzsnzny says the most idiotic stuff. a girl who wanted to believe couldn't, and a girl who can't bring herself to not not want to is at a loss. at a loss.

doesn't matter how much of it is me perpetuating it. it still and also has a life of its own.

the freeze-dried skin tag on my neck came off with a peel. doc said the old wives strangled 'em with thread. it worked, cuz it cut off the tiny but effective supply of steady blood.
 
bhcb
fflo
'Ff'lo

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"What was once thought cannot be unthought."

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