April 6th, 2007

avatar w/buff hat

If we were workshopping, I couldn't say, but I can tell you: it's not about fat. Really.

                  How Big

"So big!" goes the little one, taught
with glee this estimation we speak
for her whose arms are new
to gesture, whose words are not yet,
or barely've been, formed by mouth,
tongue & teeth, breath & throat
that render and embody voice.

And it is big, for her---
bigger than her---but our secret
laugh:  it's not so big. It's
regular big.  One-person big.
One not at all big person big.
It's big, for her, bigger than her, but
not---someone tell her, some day---so very very too very big.

I do love a waltz.

A popular music waltz. A country waltz. A folk waltz. Even, I suppose, a Strauss one. But more the other ones, where the waltzness isn't so very waltziobvious.

(What, the spellchecker doesn't know "waltziobvious"??) (Hell, the spellchecker doesn't know "spellchecker"... !)

finally found it! that German movie

Thought I'd try again when I caught the tune today, and I found the German movie I saw years ago at church (the Charles). All I can remember well are the black-and-white madness dreams of the artist protagonist, some scenes of outdoor gathering meals, and the bit when a woman (the artist?) singing at a grand piano at a party breaks out, in rather accented English, in a really slow "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" That (song) was a striking moment there in Baltimore, cuz the film was so tense/intense, and here was this pop song we all in the audience knew, but didn't recognize for a few bars---when we all suddenly clicked, at just the same time, on what it was she was delivering so seriously, the nervous chuckle of just a smidge of release was quite a theater-seats experience. A version of audience moment I'd not known before, for sure. Nor probably since, exactly. Cuz in the film it's not a light moment at all, and we were held by that mood, by the film, firmly enough as not to laugh too so very muchly much. Just a nervous twitter that let us know the others in the room were all tightened up too.

So today, thanks to the Carole King page at IMDb, I know now it was a film called Heller Wahn --- a Margarethe von Trotta movie, of all things. I saw it in '85, when I had not a clue about von Trotta, even though I'd seen Die verlorene Ehre der Katharina Blum, oder Wie Gewalt entstehen und wohin sie führen kann (The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum, or How Violence Can Develop and Where It Can Lead) in college. Heller Wahn was probably called Sheer Madness when I saw it, or Friends and Husbands---it's also gone by L'Amie, Locura de mujer, and Lucida follia. Anyway, I seem to remember it scared me, but in a good way. And that there was no real talking about it with Denise, or whoever else it was I'd seen it with. Not that I would have even known what to say, or wonder about.

And so, look, it IS on DVD---& straight to #1 in my Netflix queue.

No, wait---#2. Behind D.E.B.S.

Anybody wanna come over and watch one or the other, or both? That's my kind of double feature, people.