June 18th, 2004

bobby hill

that was a week that was



it's been a week-long decompression of sorts, and i do mean more than one sort, with the atmosphere at work going through quite a shake-up and settle-down (and that great roof thing in the middle), with some contemplative and productive (if quite unfinished) work at home, and with the long-held-in-suspension situation with h seeing its first significant progress in a kind of happy turn i had come to think would never be

and yeah, it was happy

so now i can feel what i probably should have been feeling long ago in that arena, and no, that's not happy

why i'm feeling lower case, i don't know

party tonight will be most welcome, though there's some tinge with me again now from the revisitation (that word from the song)---some tinge of that old intimacy that's been missing, and is so missed

kind counsellor thinks my gut tendency toward caution is good here, and now there is a new kind of gaslighting possible: the denial of how it's been for these several months · i am given the word 'betrayal' in among others, and it does stick out, as i bet it was meant to do · yet my other gut tendency, besides caution, is to want to accept any harmony offered & just go with it · it may be charlie brown going across town with his baseball glove, but there you have it · and of course, then again, it may not

apparently i am resistant to the end stop today, too

five quarter time

Heard "Take Five" on the radio this afternoon, and it put me in mind of this tune. Who knows it? (Brandon, you're disqualified.)

MM: Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh.
Don't you know
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And we want you to sleep well tonight.
Let the world turn without you tonight.
If we try, we'll get by, so forget all about us tonight

A's Ws: Everything's alright, yes, everything's alright, yes

MM: Sleep and I shall soothe you,
calm you, and anoint you...
Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.
Then you'll feel
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And it's cool, and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet.
Close your eyes, close your eyes
And relax, think of nothing tonight.

A's Ws: Everything's alright, yes, everything's alright, yes

. . .

Hint: "A's Ws" stands for the Apostles' Wives, and the vamp they sing sets the 5/4 rhythm off of which the lilting, fairly conventional (but syncopated) happy talk plays.

Didn't want to leave the party tonight, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta. I salute our newly published writer. I came home to sort and pack more books, and found the two volumes that included H's first publication: two entries in Holocaust Literaure: An Encyclopedia of Writers and Their Work. (I see that there's now another edition available besides the $250 library binding one.)

Back to it now. Or not. We'll see.
  • Current Music
    in my head: "Let the world turn without _you_ TOnight..."