'Ff'lo (fflo) wrote,

A beautiful day before a week of rain and I feel crappy.

Easter isn't a holiday I think of as a big thing, as in uh-oh holiday coming, partly I think cuz it's always a day off work already, and partly cuz I just forget every year that it's a big thing to a lot of people.  Unreligious people too.  Anyway I don't think it's holiday blues today but I do have some gloom-doom, on accounta it's gorgeous out, as in the air just tastes delicious, mid-60s F, sun shining but not like you can't get in shade.  I tried to get out there into it, and I just didn't feel up to traipsing through the woods I had in mind.  Sat in a parking lot realizing I felt like crap.  Turned around and came back home.

I did get the trash and recycling out.  The trash can had sticky tree gunk on the handle and then I had to use Goo Gone to get that goo gone off my skin.  Felt a little pukey before that, but that didn't help anything.

Texted Tracy that I "don't feel too pure", which I guess was what was said sometimes in my family of origin, but ti's a funny expression, now that I think of it.  I don't think original sin is responsible for my feeling like crap, but I do rather blame myself nonetheless.  Part of what has kicked me into a bit of a spiritual funk about it was seeing all those folks out there in the world walking around enjoying themselves and each other, and feeling like that simple part of life isn't available to me, and it must be because of my, well, sins.  To keep with the spirit of the holiday, or the days leading up to it, or something.  I dunno.  I ain't no theologian.

Went to bed early last night.  Have a hankerin' to do it again tonight.  Like, now.  Have to do the payroll, at least.  And take these boots off.

It's the night before the first compost pick-up of the yer.  I could be out there putting lotsa fallen sticks in the bin and taking it out to the street to greet Spring with the rest of the brown plastic receptacles and crumpled-top paper bags.  But it's exhausting just thinking about it.

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