In short, having these two here was great. They are among the handful of my most familiar, in the full sense of the word. Their departure leaves me a little confused, somehow---maybe most particularly because I am about to call the one who was my family, more than any other, and then suddenly was not. And these days I never know which H. she will be.
Of course the more important question from my perspective is who I am, and how I want to make myself, under the circumstances as I understand them. I suppose I don't really understand my circumstances, and that's part of what's been tricky. Plus who I am, to me, generally feels largely a matter of who I am with others, and how they are with me. It's a valuable gift to have had a visitation from old, core friends; I hope I can absorb it and take in from it, in its aftermath, some shoring up.
then get through another coupla weeks of hard stuff until the fine couple i'm expecting next
then somehow brace myself for the departure of upsidedownblue